Funny, how before I ended up in this situation, I was running courses for women with post natal depression. There was lots to do with self help, getting motivated, positive thinking... the works.
Now here I am, and I think none of that applies to me because I am suffering a physical condition. It doesn't matter how positively I think, its still going to be there.
So, obviously, I should just stay depressed, unmotivated and continue to have no hope above that one day the pain might go away.
Except I'm getting sick of that. Its depressing, to say the least.
I made the resolution over the weekend, that I have to get up, do what I can, make a real go of it, and keep the hope that one day, the pain might go away.
So today, I got up an hour earlier. I did a few housewifey things. One of the kids is home with Monday-itis, poor sweetie... I hate Monday-itis, hee hee.
And I MADE myself get on with some work I needed to do. I sorted some end of year accounts - a big job finally out of the way.
Later I might make some dessert to have with dinner. I cant cook anymore, but I can do a short stint in the kitchen.
It all sounds feeble, but that's where I am... little steps indeed, but they are still steps forward.
And, I have a book I used in my course, Change the Way You See Things. I'm going to work more on that.
And then, I will work up to telling my husband my diagnosis of neuropathic pain, which I feel so ashamed of - that I failed to get better after all that fuss of major surgery. For me, it is a personal failure. Lets hope the course of these blogs sees a change in that.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Pain Management
After all the medication I was on prior to my surgery, I found I was having large lapses in memory. Usually my memory is pretty good, but I found I was forgetting to do things, doing things twice, little things and big things.
This was exacerbated after the surgery, and of course more post operative medication. I forgot twice in one day that it was my daughters birthday the next day. I was shocked and deeply saddened at this.
I found my own method of pain management - just do nothing. Mostly I don't get sore unless I am upright and moving around. So I don't, its that simple. However, that doesn't lead to a very optimistic prognosis... I don't want to still be in bed come Christmas.
My Dr has put me on Amitryptaline, an anti-depressant which he hopes will stop the pain messages to the brain. I tried this once earlier and it seemed very effective - because it put me to sleep. And when I sleep, I am not up and moving around...hence no pain, lol.
I hope it might help improve my mood a bit also, as it has been very hard giving up my career, dreams and family for this "disease".
I just want my life back. I am happy to change direction career wise, but I want my income back. I want my kids to enjoy me and for me to be able to enjoy my kids. I still want to get to Switzerland with them real soon.
This was exacerbated after the surgery, and of course more post operative medication. I forgot twice in one day that it was my daughters birthday the next day. I was shocked and deeply saddened at this.
I found my own method of pain management - just do nothing. Mostly I don't get sore unless I am upright and moving around. So I don't, its that simple. However, that doesn't lead to a very optimistic prognosis... I don't want to still be in bed come Christmas.
My Dr has put me on Amitryptaline, an anti-depressant which he hopes will stop the pain messages to the brain. I tried this once earlier and it seemed very effective - because it put me to sleep. And when I sleep, I am not up and moving around...hence no pain, lol.
I hope it might help improve my mood a bit also, as it has been very hard giving up my career, dreams and family for this "disease".
I just want my life back. I am happy to change direction career wise, but I want my income back. I want my kids to enjoy me and for me to be able to enjoy my kids. I still want to get to Switzerland with them real soon.
my neuropathic pain
So, I've just spent the last 6 months in bed with a chronic neuropathic pain disorder. Its been pretty disheartening, the loss of function has affected everyone in the family.
I'm a mum of 4 kids, one has left home, one was born with multiple anomalies, and consequently has special needs. My youngest just started school as my condition began some 15 months ago, so all those people who were saying"what are you going to so with yourself when she's finally at school?", the answer turned out to be, to suffer in pain and gradually give up everything.
It started with abdominal pain, and an unusual period in Jan 08. Feb 08 was unusual as well, and from there the pain stayed. I started on medication, and was referred to a gynaecologist.
It was November before I had any kind of diagnosis, despite having seen two Dr's previously.
It was suggested I had adenomyosis, and that I should have a hysterectomy.
During this time I had tried several types of pain medication, ibuprofen, paracetemol, codine, DHC and Diclofenac. The DHC made me constipated, the Dicolfenac gave me terrible diarrhea, and even though I was having the two meds at the same time, I swung one way or the other. Eventually the Diclofenac caused bleeding in the bowel so I stopeed taking it, it also gave me quite a gut ache, separate to the pain I was already in. None of these medications did anything... initially the DHC seemed to help, but over time my doctor just kept increasing the dosage as it failed to give any relief. I was finally put on morphine, Oxycodon, as surgery was imminent.
I just never recovered. Post surgery pain was out the roof because of the levels of morpine I had already been on, so I don't know if that's what triggered the neuropathic pain or if it was the 10 months of chronic pain before the surgery. Either way it sucks!
The loss of income has been hard, we had big plans for this year, to travel to Swtizerland again with the kids.
I've spent a lot of time online over this time and found a possible way to make some money - from my bed. Too good to be true? who knows, but I'd be silly not to try it. Will keep you posted how that goes, as well as my journey to wellness.
I'm a mum of 4 kids, one has left home, one was born with multiple anomalies, and consequently has special needs. My youngest just started school as my condition began some 15 months ago, so all those people who were saying"what are you going to so with yourself when she's finally at school?", the answer turned out to be, to suffer in pain and gradually give up everything.
It started with abdominal pain, and an unusual period in Jan 08. Feb 08 was unusual as well, and from there the pain stayed. I started on medication, and was referred to a gynaecologist.
It was November before I had any kind of diagnosis, despite having seen two Dr's previously.
It was suggested I had adenomyosis, and that I should have a hysterectomy.
During this time I had tried several types of pain medication, ibuprofen, paracetemol, codine, DHC and Diclofenac. The DHC made me constipated, the Dicolfenac gave me terrible diarrhea, and even though I was having the two meds at the same time, I swung one way or the other. Eventually the Diclofenac caused bleeding in the bowel so I stopeed taking it, it also gave me quite a gut ache, separate to the pain I was already in. None of these medications did anything... initially the DHC seemed to help, but over time my doctor just kept increasing the dosage as it failed to give any relief. I was finally put on morphine, Oxycodon, as surgery was imminent.
I just never recovered. Post surgery pain was out the roof because of the levels of morpine I had already been on, so I don't know if that's what triggered the neuropathic pain or if it was the 10 months of chronic pain before the surgery. Either way it sucks!
The loss of income has been hard, we had big plans for this year, to travel to Swtizerland again with the kids.
I've spent a lot of time online over this time and found a possible way to make some money - from my bed. Too good to be true? who knows, but I'd be silly not to try it. Will keep you posted how that goes, as well as my journey to wellness.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)