Pilates and health

I've started doing Pilates again.
I like Pilates because it is gentle but very effective. It is ideal for me because being upright for more than an hour becomes so very uncomfortable. A lot of Pilates is done lying down, Heehee, exercise you can do whilst horizontal.
I'm not sure how much of my pain is a weakness developed in my back muscles from lack of use. Its hard work, but it feels good doing something constructive that might help. Either way, I have an extra amount of tummy after the surgery and bed rest, so if nothing else it will help tone up my tummy again.
The Amitryptaline had been ineffective after 6 weeks of taking it. I guess I need to go back to my doctor again...for more drugs. I dont see the point. More drugs means more drowsiness in my experience. I dont want that, I need to see my kids, and I don't want them seeing me "out of it" all the time.
We will see.....
I'm getting pressure to hand over the last remains of my previous busy life to my successor. Its so hard. I don't want to let go. I keep thinking, "but what if I start doing ok, will I be able to take it all back?" The answer is probably no. Its hard to give up your future. We rely on it so much to get through the now, especially when the now seems so bleak. I just have to keep in mind, that at the end of all of this, there will be a new road for me to take, and I dont HAVE to know what that road is now. It will show itself when it is time. In the words of George Michael, I "just gotta have faith"